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MisunderstoodKid512

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When meeting a stranger....
1) You do not touch their butt.
2) You do not touch their thigh, or any part of their body to be exact.
3) You do not bite your nails in front of them.
4) You do not say their name while you're talking to someone else, in a different language.

Under all circumstances...
1) Do not lie about someone when they are right next to you.
2) Don't fake laugh.
3) Don't insult your guests, spouse, children, friends in front of people. That's just fucking rude, and makes you a complete asshole.
4) Do not talk about how beautiful you are. Because no one gives a crap, really.


So yeah, I decided to make another one of these because I'm bored.
My father woke me up at 12 to yell at me and tell me that we have reservations at a fancy restaurant and that we're going out with his friends.
I don't know, should I be angry at him? 'Cause I am. But anyway, his friends were the inspiration for this Journal.
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1) You cannot call yourself a smartass when you are actually a dumbass.
2) You cannot call yourself "classy" when you claim to be a virgin, and have actually slept with thirteen random men.
3) To the girls that say there are no more gentlemen in this world, there are. But gentlemen are attracted to ladies, not sluts.
4) To the men that say women belong in the kitchen, that means you belong in the battle field.
5) You are only truly weird when more than five people have not wanted to be your friend because of how weird you are.

We would have said more, but we ran out of ideas.
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Fish are.... Jamesssss it's your turn.... dying because they need soda that is tastey. They need pussy because pickels. And they demanded that they receive kitties in bags. Lulu is pink and wow that sounded so wrong to my perverted little ears. EM LIKES FLUFFY BUNNIES. OH YEAH? WELL JAMES (KITTY) HAS A CHAMBER FILLED WITH PROSTITUTES! YEAH? WELL. MARSHMELLOWS.
YOU WENT TOO FAR
I KNOW I'M SORRY.
TOO BAD 'CAUSE I JUST SENT A GROUP OF HORNY BANDITS TO RAPE YO MAMA.
GOOD! I DON'T LIKE MY MAMA.
AND YO DADDY.
OH NO YOU DIDN'T BEEOTCH.
James care to join in on the drama?
I think we scared Jamsey-kun.
We should have known that unlocking our full retarded potential would scare him.
It's like watching a trainwreck, it's terrifying but you can't look away.
It's a disaster!
QUICK GATHER ALL THE SUPPLIES YOU CAN FIND AND HEAD NORTH. EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS BETTER NORTH.
YES. CANADA!! OHHHHH CANADAAAAA~
I'M A CANADIAN MOTHER FUCKKAAAA.
I'M A PERSON, SUCK IT!
I'm going to go make some poptarts...
Make me one? *sad face*
I demand mine to be served with a side of whip cream and strawberries.
Me too!
And we shall pay you in coin... three coins.
Em's paying... I'm broke.
So this dude just called me weird.... rejection hurts.
Em you kind of are weird....
SHUT UP I DON'T LIKE MY FLAWS TO BE POINTED OUT. And he said it in the mean way.
Must I kick his assy ass?
I DOUBT HE HAS ONE DX
Back.
Did you bring us our poptarts?.... I mean... welcome back. *Wails are heard in the background*
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Liam-oh ran away from Little Banananers with dildos as he hopped down the forest of parakeets, and telling himself that he has aids in the ass.
"So I'm running from a banana in the forest and fantasizing about anal STD's?" said the smart ass.
"Yes," said the wise one.
"Yes don't question fairy tale logic," said the sexy one.
"THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO MAKE SENSE," yelled Little Timmy from behind the trees.
The dragons of bubbles roared in delight because in their castle of gum and sexy ladies they diphthong a cat in the name of Satan.
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Little Timmy's small vagina is dirty because he had too many cocks inside of his tight vagina. Timmy loved big bouncy black bubbles because they are black and big. He Once fucked a pig in his asshole because he was too horny and had no one else to fuck eventually he progressed to skull fuck the small pig until his eyes popped out and Timmy enjoyed every bit of it. He also is very much in a bunch of trouble with his bumble-bee named Richard Figures. He likes himself as a girlfriend because he is sexy cat. Just because he ate roses at walmart, Richard Figures that-
What?
Is love.
YES.
Freddie loves to smell dirty dicks because they're smelly. Cassidy is a very tall and beautiful lady, and has the most awesomest best friend in the world which must be someone that isn't Em for christ's sake. How would anyone know?
THERE'S A SPIDER-FLY IN MY ROOM. OH NO! KILL IT WITH SHOES!
IT'S EATING LITTLE TIMMY! TIMMY IS SCREAMING IN TERROR. EM IS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AT TIMMY. CASSIDY IS PLAYING WITH A SHOE, CASSIDY IS ALSO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. SPIDER-FLY CONTINUES TO FLY. IT LANDED ON A PIG, HOPEFULLY BATMAN ARRIVES SOON. THE PIG IS RUNNING IN CIRCLES, STUPID PIG.
TRIX IS FOR KIDS, CASSIDY LOVES LITTLE KIDS,BECAUSE THEIR SO CUTE.
SHE'S HAD SEX WITH THEM. IT WAS HOT AND SEXY SEX.
OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK.
AND THEN A UNICORN SHOWED UP. THIS IS A HORRIBLE CHILDRENS BOOK. BUT IT'S BETTER THAN TWILIGHT.
TWILIGHT WAS A LOVE STORY, AND MANY CHILDREN READ IT.
WHY THE FUCK IS BATMAN NOT SHOWING UP?! THE FUCKING PIG IS STILL RUNNING IN CIRCLES.
HE WAS GROUNDED FOR BEING A PIMP.
LIKE LIAM.
BECAUSE HE FORGOT TO TURN OFF HIS SWAG.
LIAM IS BATMAN.
I THOUGHT THE PIGGY WAS BATMAN.
NO HE'S SPIDER PIG.
OH THEN WHO IS VOLDEMORT? LITTLE TIMMY. JUMPED ON THE PIG. WHAT NO I WAS ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION.
OH THEN WHO THE FUCK IS SOCCER BALL? YOUR FACE. THEN YOUR FACE IS THE BASKETBALL. OH FUCK NO.
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